While most people lean into the magic of the holidays this time of the year, this season can be particularly hard for those grieving the loss of a loved one. With the COVID-19 pandemic leading to record numbers of deaths throughout the US, many more families will be grieving this holiday season. Here is what you can do if have been put in the unfortunate position of needing to manage your grief this month.

Do Not be Afraid to Scale Back

The holidays can be stressful enough during times of joy. When you add grief into the mix of feelings, it can be nearly unbearable to try to get through this time period. Rather than try to do everything that you have always done, give yourself permission to scale back. Nobody expects you to send out holiday greeting cards or to deliver homemade sugar cookies during this challenging time. Instead, make the focus of this season about slowing down and enjoying your loved ones.

Welcome Your Feelings

You can never predict how you will feel when the emotions of grief and the happiness of the holiday season collide. There is no rule book for how you should feel during this time. Instead of trying to feel what you think you should feel, simply allow yourself to go through the emotions naturally. Grief is an unpredictable process that cannot be scripted. The best way to handle these feelings is to accept these emotions and deal with them as they come.

Make a Plan

While you cannot predict your feelings, you can make a plan to help you to handle these difficult emotions when they arise. Making a plan for how to handle challenging situations and events will make you feel more in control. For example, if you know that attending Christmas Eve mass in the church that you married your late partner will trigger this grief, maybe you want to make an alternate plan. Do not feel afraid to temporarily abandon the traditions that you know will make you feel even worse.

Create New Traditions

Similarly, this may be the ideal holiday season to create new traditions. This may be a great year to take that Christmas trip to Mexico. A change of scenery may do your heart wonders. Or perhaps you want to channel this grief into something positive and encourage your family to start a new service project in your loved ones' honor. There are a number of new traditions that you can start that may prove to be a healthy outlet for these hard emotions.

Seek Professional Help

There is no shame in admitting that you need professional help to navigate this time. You may also find a grief support group to be incredibly helpful as you process these new feelings. A mental health specialist who specializes in this type of loss will provide you with practical tips that you can employ to make it through the holidays as well as you can.

Take Care of Yourself

It is easy to let go of your normal self-care routine over the busy holidays even in the best of times. This problem becomes exacerbated when you are grieving the loss of someone special. Although it may be hard to put the focus on yourself, you will be able to better handle the feelings of sadness and loss if take care of your physical health needs. This means nourishing your body with the right foods, getting plenty of sleep, and making time for exercise. Even a cup of coffee with a friend in the midst of the chaos can help you to forge ahead. All of these steps will put you in a better position to confront the impending feelings of grief.

It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. This is especially true when you are dealing with this process during the holiday season. Above all, it is important to allow yourself room to deviate from the usual plans and to feel all of the emotions that you need to experience to get through this holiday season. There will be time to create more holiday memories in the future.